For those of you who may or may not know, the internet is at risk of becoming much much less awesome, and more crappy.

and since we here deal with all things toilet, crap being one of them, we would like to help the internet and cleanse it of the shit that’s coming at us. That’s right, I’m talking about SOPA and PIPA.
here’s a small video that explains the threat:

so basically, US politicians are debating whether to kill the internet or not.

We are a part of the internet. WE’RE TOO YOUNG TO DIE!

Therefore, all content on this blog will be offline on january 18th, in support with all our colleagues all over the internet.

Stay strong. keep the internet alive!


Stool Color Codes!

Posted: November 25, 2011 in Toiletainment!


Well, its that time of year again. Well you probably do not know what I’m going on about, but does this tell you anything?

Canned Red BEETS!

YES! YES! Its beet season again! Why am I excited you ask? well first of all, I like the taste of sweet red beets. Plus when I eat them I can pretend I’m a vampire that just fed. (Oh don’t pretend that you don’t do that. That’s the only good thing about beets)

In any case, a few hours after eating those yummy root thingies, we go to our beloved local WC to take care of our dumpage buisiness, and what do you know, a nice surprise! We’ve got a part of a rainbow! A nice deep red, or a fountain of purple or orange (depending on intensity of beet feasting)! Now ain’t that a treat for the eyes! 

Sure its all fun and games for that time. But a surprise is nice only when its once a year. If its Christmas everyday, it sort of becomes a drag, right? And that’s the exact same thing when it comes to our colored products. 

That’s why we should be wary of our “stool” color as the experts call it.

No, not that kind of stool -_-

The following table details all the colors of your rainbow, and what concerns and causes might have made it happen

Stool Color Stool Color Meaning Probable Health or Dietary Causes
Light to medium brown Normal Normal
Very light brown Too much fat in the body, liver problem, or constipation Insufficient fiber content in the diet
Black Duodenal ulcer, Internal bleeding in the upper section of the GI tract, i.e. Esophagus, stomach or first section of the small intestine Consumption of highly concentrated iron supplements, large quantities of olives, licorice, blue berries; heavy intake of alcohol, improper blood flow to the intestine, and vascular malformation
Dark red or maroon Internal bleeding of the lower section of the GI tract, internal hemorrhoids, anal fissure, colon polyps,diverticulitis, or colon cancer Internal bleeding causes blood to seep into the colon and get mixed with the blood
Bright red Hemorrhoids, digestive system disorders, or colon cancer Consumption of foods that are rich in red dyes such as licorice, candy, and other artificially colored food items, all causes of black or dark red colored stool in addition
Orange Gallbladder malfunctioning, fast transit time Gallbladder malfunction, fast transit time, consumption of medicines or foods like carrots and spinach containing beta-carotene, antacids containing aluminum hydroxide, and artificially synthesized food items
Yellow Gilbert’s syndrome, malabsorption, giardiasis, and pancreatic cancer Gilbert’s syndrome leads to poor processing of red blood cells; malabsorption of fats leads it to the colon, where it mixes with stool; in giardiasis, the protozoans cause diarrhea
Dark Green Stool Indigestion of green vegetables such as spinach, a fast transit time, irritable bowel syndromeulcerative colitisand celiac disease Consumption of green leafy vegetables, foods flavored with limes, iron supplements, vitamin supplements containing chlorophyll, or foods that contain green dyes such as Kool-Aid and gelatin
Gray Malabsorption Blockage of bile flow from gallbladder to intestine. The most probable reason is presence of tumor in the bile ducts or pancreas
Clay Malabsorption, hepatitis, gallbladder disorders Hepatitis and gallbladder problems disrupt the flow of bile out of the liver, and hence the stool turns to clay

 (courtesy of

Oh and eating rainbow colored food doesn’t help by the way…

its the leprechaun's trap! don't eat it!

And we’ve another table for your fountain of youth! if your pee-pee is colored, there might be a problem aswell.

Urine Color Urine Color Meaning Possible Underlying Disease or Condition
Clear urine Excess liquid consumption Any liver disease, like hepatitis or liver cirrhosis, diabetes insipidus or diabetes mellitus. This of also often the urine color during pregnancy
Bright yellow or neon yellow Vitamin supplements Excessive consumption of vitamin capsules, leading to a potential risk of hypervitaminosis
Dark yellow or golden color Very concentrated urine Severe dehydration, may also be indicative of over consumption of laxatives or food supplements which contain B complex vitamins. Read more on dark yellow urine causes
Pink or red color Hematuria, indicative of blood in urine Kidney infections, bladder infections, excessive consumption of certain foods like beets and berries and food dyes, also due to some laxatives
Orange Due to certain drugs like rifampin, doxorubicin, phenazopyridine and warfarin If there is ornage urine color, dehydration, excess intake of certain food dyes, laxatives are often implicated
Blue or green Side effect of certain medications like amitriptylene, indomethacin Over consumption of certain foods like asparagus and food dyes
Cloudy or murky Inability of the kidneys to produce normal urine, presence of protein in urine Urinary tract infection, like inflammation of the urethra (urethritis), bladder infection, kidney stones etc. Read more on cloudy urine causes
Dark brown or tea colored Often accompanied by pale stools and jaundice, or diarrhea Indicative of an underlying liver disorder, side effect of certain medications, blood in urine, could also be caused due to certain foods and food dyes


Ouh! you might be a new evolved breed of unicorn!


And a word of caution… If the products of your digestion tend to glow in the dark… You just might be a new kind of superhero. Use your powers wisely. For further info, contact the Public Toilet Janitor in Chief.


Penis Envy

Posted: September 17, 2011 in Toiletainment!

Alright so, as some of my dedicated readers have noticed….

ok fine I was lying i have no dedicated readers, I noticed it myself… anyway, I’ve noticed that most of the posts here cater to males, typically because of my expertise in the male urination process, and not so much with the female one. Although if granted access to womens’ bathrooms, I would definatley take time off and observe their urination processes closely, FOR SCIENCE!

However, seeing as most facilities called security when I inquired about the situation, I’v had to look for alternatives. I therefore have looked long and hard, and found something to bridge the gap:

ENTER the P EZ  Female urinal apparatus!

Looks like a purple male appendage so to speak...

According to the manufacturer, this plastic “thingy “has the following product features:

  • No more uncomfortable squatting over unsanitary toilets
  • Discreet, portable & re-usable
  • Designed not to flow back, splash or spill
If you think this is weird and noone would think of it, think again. They have competition!

Again.. whats with the funky colors?

Now those so called urination devices prompt the age old freudian problem as stated in the title… Penis envy.
Women, when confronted by this issue laugh it off and shrug it off as a male oriented psychological analysis, or just say that freud was a freak. Now I sort of agree that freud was kind of a sex pest, but he might have been onto something here.
The theory states that penis envy is the ” reaction of a girl during her psychosexual development to the realization that she does not have a penis.”

now she wouldnt be too upset if she had one of the above would she?

one of the manifestations as described by almighty wikipedia is :

“She desires a penis, and the power that it represents. This is described as penis envy. She sees the solution as obtaining her father’s penis”
Now seeing as most daddies, however much they love their baby girl, will not be willing to part with their man parts, will not really be pleased about handing it over to their daughters. Therefore I believe that necessity  is the mother of invention, and after a couple of failed penis snatching attempts for women to get a penis, they chose to artificially create a couple.
I applaud their effort. However, I would change the color scheme. :/
Now ladies, you might have been enlightened so I’ll help you out and provide the links for amazon for the fine products above. just click the pictures and you’ll be sent to the page.
Alternatively, if you’ve come to terms with yourself, you might want this shirt:

For the more fashion conscious.

As always, we wish you happy urination, whether standing or seated!

Send a mail to the Janitor in Chief at:

“Magic” Urinal: Uri-lift!!!

Posted: August 18, 2011 in Toiletainment!

Deepest apologies dedicated reader(s), (yes you sara. thanks for subscribing, it reminded me i still have a blog) It has been a while since I’ve really given much attention to my urination process, and I feel ashamed.

To make up for it, I present this post from my Irish adventures. BEHOLD!

While roaming the streets in Belfast, we notice  a nice, round circle we could only assume is a sewer cover.

An ordinary sidewalk

However in the middle of the night, some peepee magic happens 🙂

magic urinal suddenly appears!

In an effort to fight the war on public urination (yes its a war just as vicious as  the war on drugs and terrorism. ) cities across europe have been placing magic urinals in the cities so drunken idiots (like myself the night of the discovery) can have a safe peeing place where no cat might sneak up on you!



Send a mail to the Janitor in Chief at:

We have to apologize for the “male centered” topics, but it is due to lack of female expertise in our staff (Yes we are hiring… ladies join the janitorial squad!)

This post will deal with aim. Gentlemen, in your pants you have a powerful PRECISION tool that could be as accurate as a laser cutter, or as random as a water balloon. I do not know if the same could be said about the ladies, but if some of you ladies out there can master it… i would be impressed.

In any case, some of our male readers might have trouble mastering their lasers. However some of the toilet manufacturers out there lend out a helping hand. We first start considering the case of the toilet bowl.

While seated, aim is not necessary. However, as we assume the standing urination stance, we have the task of directing our stream in the most strategic location. We consider the case of aiming in the middle, at the water. This, although risks the least amount of missing, might cause splatter and splashing. We therefore consider other options. South of the bowl would be a safe bet to minimize splatter, however the angle of attack provides a small room for error as a mishap could have you staining your shoes. Therefore a few centimeters north would prove to be the most effective.

We see here an example of a manufacturer that provides an aiming aid. Naturally, having a powerful tool in our hands, we tend to like to have it aimed at something. Therefore they have provided a sort of target practice, or a shooting range.


toilet aim

This small dot shows the ideal aiming location for the stream

In the case of the urinal, due to multiple urinal design, and urinal heights it would require access to supercomputers to analyze and assess the optimal situation, therefore we keep it to the manufacturers to tell us where we aim by placing a fly on the urinal, as shown below.

urinal fly

Fly on Urinal to point out optimal aiming zone

Thank you for your attention people, and a special thanks to Tarek for contributing the first photo to this post and sparking my interest to write it.

Send a mail to the Janitor in Chief at:

Being located so close to AUB and LAU, some pubs like to keep some students on edge and help them freshen up their information, or even test them at their worst: when they’r drunk.

Imagine how funny it would be to see a drunk guy/girl try and figure out where to go or what to do… some may even call their bio friends


XX- female sex chromosome set


XY- Male sex chromosome set

And if you still have problems figuring this one out… maybe this blog is not for your IQ level. If you’re one of those people, I suggest you click HERE . This should be more suited to your level.

Please feel free to send me signs and pictures of interesting WCs from around lebanon!
Send a mail to the Janitor in Chief at:


Posted: June 21, 2011 in Toiletainment!

Yes, on this blog, sometimes the titles are sort of sophisticated. That is due to the fact that we are not just for your entertainment, but for your educational pleasure aswell.

Paruresis, also known as bladder shyness, also known as stage fright, also known as bashful bladder, also known as bashful kidneys, also known as pee fright, also known as urophobia, also known as pee-shyness, also known as public piss syndrome, also known as gun-shy, also known as shy bladder syndrome, also known as air-blockage,  also known as “that guy keeps staring at me, how the hell am I going to discharge my bodily fluids!?”…. Lots of ‘also known as’ es… It is a common fear faced by many a frequenter of public toilets worldwide.  It most commonly affects males, mainly due to the fact that urinals are more exposed than stalls, however it does affect females aswell.


This is what the victim feels like. A clear violation of the splash zone rule may eventually cause Paruresis, and lifelong trauma (Refer to the urinal courtesy section of the blog)

This condition is a purely psychological one, and it should not be confused with a biological disorder, prostatitis.  Due to its nature, being a mental one, its treatment is through habit.
A few tips on how to start treating it, depending on the level of Paruresis, would be a step by step method, where the person uses MP3 Players to get the feeling of isolation, using stalls at first, and eventually restoring normal public restroom use with ease.

So next time you guys see your buddy heading for a stall instead of a urinal, no he doesn’t need to tinkle from his vajayjay, he might be bladder shy. So help him by understanding, and of course, poking a little fun is a given, just not too much.  And please take note that this could be an eventual after effect of breaking the Splash Zone code of conduct, so please, rules are there for a reason!

and finally, the public toilet team wishes you an enjoyable urination experience!

Send a mail to the Janitor in Chief at:

Deepest apologies to my dear readers (yes… all 2 of you) for not publishing for the past while… and it has been a while since an addition has been made to the WC Hall of Fame gallery! So there you go, INDULGE!

This was taken in Vitrine, jounieh, and as the signs show, they are pretty much a reflection of the user’s physical and mental state.

female WC Vitrine

Womens' WC

mens wc vitrine

Men's WC

These pictures were brought to you by an anonymous fan (you know yourself 😀 thanks!)

Please feel free to send me signs and pictures of interesting WCs from around lebanon!

Send a mail to the Janitor in Chief at:

Its time for finals. You can’t study at home because :

1- Your brother/sister is annoying as hell

2- Your mom comes in your room every minute asking if you want to eat or if you’re studying

3- That F***ing construction site next door that wakes you up every morning at 8 AM with the sounds of jackhammers.

and since studying in your room is out of the question, you head on down to the library. Good luck finding a place to sit. What to do…. What to do….

Well here in the Public Toilet, we have the solution for you! What is one place in a nightclub you go to talk to the phone because its not too loud? what is the one place at home that no one randomly walks in without knocking? What is THE one place that you can have all the privacy, peace, and quiet with minimal distractions?

Ok maybe not peace… but the rest… and yes, you guessed it, your nearest public or private toilet! So get your books… (laptops and electronics are not advisable) and head on down!

The toilet actually is one of the good places to review notes and get some reading done. (its actually how I studied history in S3). The time lost on the john is now time gained! As long as you breathe from your mouth, you should last long enough to finish a chapter or two. But please don’t go overboard, or else your toilet would end up looking like this :/

toilet library

*cough* nerd *cough*

Today’s Toiletainment episode is brought to you from the good people at, one of my personal favorite websites.
just follow the link by clicking HERE, or alternatively, follow the more extreme route and click on the picture below!

mean toilets

one of the awesomer toilets out there